my leg is jelly jelly

Never would I imagine this day will come so fast. The implanon was suppose to last for 3 years ($450 per stick) and I only use it for 21 months. Went back to Dr Beh at Thompson Medical Centre and the doctor ask me "Why you want to remove it? Wanna have another baby is it?" HUR! LIKE NO! that's not the reason why I came to remove it. I want to be healthy internally without all the hormones alteration and I'm no longer a sex toy to play with.

I was damn damn damn scared. I lied on the chair and I covered my face with my jacket throughout the whole process. You could feel the blade cutting the arm but no pain. The real pain came when the doctor was trying so hard to pull the stick out cause I think blood vessels and muscles grew around the stick becoming hard for it to come out. OMG! I dropped a few tears cause it hurts and I was damn scared closed to fainting. But thank god I didn't faint cause I knew Shayenne was waiting outside for me :) Mummy is brave!

Went dan's home to take a rest and headed out to Botanical Garden for a picnic with dan's friends and Jeremy :) Shayenne ate so much! Dinner was at republic of steak. It was the right choice having our dinner there! the boss gave Shayenne 6 smiley face mashed potato, 2 chocolate brownie and one fila pouch. ALL FOC! because Shayenne is so cute :)) hehehe. Thanks Boss!

Meidan: Hey girl, I want to thank you for all that you've tried to do and have done for me. For helping me carry Shayenne and taking care of her despite your bamboo body. Supporting me and propaganda me with determination and to be firm. I appreciate so much to have a friend like you. A true friend :) IJ friends are friends for life..thanks my dear

town-ed

Yeah! Went to town today with Shayenne. No longer tortoise in shell! Met up with Jeremy and his friend. While waiting for them, Shayenne and I had tea at Wheelock place. Chocolate truffle cake in a heart shape and ice chocolate! the drink was super nice!

Coincidently, Meidan was in town too- reading Confucius books! Walked all the way to Cathay Astons and queued super long for dinner together with dan's bf, dan's sister and bf. Had so much fun with Shayenne's new "yi-yi"(meidan). Kiss for yi-yi somemore!! aiyo, so sweet.

I love Shayenne's hair when it's tied up! absolutely love her little pony tail. SO CUTE!

This should be the theme song for the rest of your life to the people you've let down and hurt. Since the day I left you, I knew there was no turning back. So, I hope that you can move on with your life. Don't look back anymore. Both of us, should work hard to write a new chapter of our life. Let it go...

Ice cream night date

Travelled all the way down to Hong Wen school. So far from the MRT!! but still walkable. Taught a set of Grammar question and Compre to the Pri 2 and 3 students. Super F' up management.

Went home for dinner and out again to meet ( Ques: Why is it 'meet' not 'met' or 'meets' or 'meeting'? Ans: Because words after 'to' should be in base form) Vonnie! We've got a ice cream date at Hg mall Macs eating ice cream! HAHA. was returning library books when I saw Adel.T and Michelle! Yeah...

Spent some time with Von talking.. probably all of our life are jus as F' up as one another. no matter how tough the road is. we all know that there is still our family and friends! :) cheers!

ƃuoʍ uǝɯɹɐɔ

By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart.

Went amk cathay to watch Confucius with dan today!! Great movie! No romance or very detailed war strategies. Purely on Confucius sayings, loyalty for country, brotherhood and integrity. Confucius original name was Kong Qiu. Was quite a touching movie that dan and I almost cried. quite a lot of handsome guys in the movie!

Went library and borrowed a book again written by Bernardine Kennedy. Previously read a book on "Past Chance" written by her and found it quite nice :)

"To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness."

it's like my ipod stuck on REPLAY

Had a super weird dream that left me thinking about. I woke up from a dream with someone I know from SJC but I can't see clearly who was it. She was shouting "If you don't forgive yourself, how are you going to forgive ******". If I don't forgive myself? huh..really left me thinking...

Went back to SJC after my practicum to buy the SJC bear. Available in $25 (bigger size, more fur) and $15 (palm size and cuter looking). Unfortunately, I came too late and the person went(WENT OKAY!) home alr! I really want the SJC bear..can't buy it anywhere except in SJC! :)with that cute little blue pinafore on it, Shay will love it also :)

So happy!!! Had my 2nd practicum visit today. and I passed! Another of my big stone down. Thank you to the teachers that helped me out and not forgetting Lecturer Julia :) Thank you thank you thank you. A million thanks to Mrs Yap and Mrs Lim :)

Another hurdle ahead, got to teach a Comprehension to a class at Hong Wen School this wednesday. if everything goes well, I will get the job :)

Hope everything falls in place as they should and those that are not in my plan will go away.

Cause you should be my lady~

Yeah! Meidan came over my house for dinner tonight! Hope you liked the food :) The last time you came over my house was 5 yrs ago and you slept over! HAHA, Shayenne had a great time with you, so did my parent. Come over often k :) and upload the photos soon!

Take my red black card and Jewelery

Saturday!! Went to Food EXPO!! FOOD!!! So happy, cause it's food :)) Bought ma la fishball, chicken rice ball, mushroom soup in a bread, taiwan fried chicken and nasi briyani :)) and my fav seaweed tak kae noi :)) Shayenne was so scared of the Tak Kae Noi big head doll. When the person waved at her, she cried super loudly.

Headed to Ikea to buy a new table which cost only $39! Gonna shift the computer out and rearrange the both rooms again for Shay and me. Walked over to Giant next and bought some groceries and the Hotdog bun! :)) food food food.

Went home and ate Cheng teng cooked by my maid. What a foodie saturday!

She's got to love nobody.

Friday- Gone with the wind. WHOOSH~

My hair smell so nice! Shampoo from Pantene, conditioner from Sunsilk and hair serum from Silkpro.

Hate fridays,. YOU-KNOW-WHY. Use to to LOVE LOVE LOVE fridays..but friday is more like fright-day to me.

ARGH, tuition later. I don wanna see that new boy! I think he has learning disorder. He is screwing up my whole class. How how how! Classroom management??? My phonics worksheet are getting harder too...But I love the satisfaction when I see my children learn something new and improve themselves :)

Classroom Management-easier said than done.

A principal really impressed me today with her words. A teacher must be pro active not reactive. Set your ground rules first, be a firm and strict but also fun and loving teacher. You can have the best teaching method, but if the classroom management is poor, the children will learn nothing at the end of the day. Without good classroom management you will be spending much time on playing arcade(hammering down the pop out mouse) with the children. It's classroom management first before teaching. The first two weeks of getting a new class is the most crucial part that will decide whether you will have a hell time or enjoyable time teaching the class. You can be firm and strict, but also fun and loving teacher :)

So inspiring eh! Can't rmb what else she said. BUT I'm gonna read up and brush up more on my classroom management.

I've been thinking these few days to get my contraceptive Implanon removed. but i'm scared, very scared of pain. I almost black out and fainted after watching the removal video.



First the insertion, I had to went thru it all alone so that to let the jerk play and not have any trouble. Now, I have to clear up all the shit myself. I don't have the courage and guts to go and have it remove. I will faint before the stupid stick is even out! Thanks to you!

want your bad romance

need manicure again :)

Shayenne has been behaving well for these past few nights, she can sleep by herself without me patting or carrying her. not forgetting her coming to give me goodnight kisses! so so cute.

She's talking alot now. When I say "one", she will say "two". She also knows how to say "A,B,C"! She knows how to call my cat "Jewel" and sometimes ask her "GO, Go, Go!" She knows how to call me "mama" alr (awww..how sweet is that!) When she sees my brother photo in my phone, she will say "jiu jiu (uncle)". When she doesn't want to eat something she dislikes she'll push it away and say "No want, no no no". When she wants to watch dvd, she knows how to say "High pie (five), Elmo, Money (Barney)". When someone is changing clothes, she knows how say "Shay Shay (Shame Shame). When something hurt her, she knows how to say "Pain pain". She knows her name "Shay-eun" LOL. she cant pronounce properly!! and she says milo as "My-mi". Super hilarious communicating with her. When you ask her something she will say "yesh". Do you want da bian? and she will reply "yesh". hahahha

Ask her repeat single words after you, she'll come out with lots of pattern! Shayenne must be placed in my life for a good reason. lovess....

Hurray Hurray!

I got a job! Student Care teacher with Pro Teach! happy with the working hours and pay :)) Big wide smile.

Gonna be a hardworking year for 2010 with my two teaching jobs on hand and studying and taking care of Shayenne. Thanks to my parent and maid who have helped me so much and still helping me :) I got an awesome family.

13.03.2010

I'm so obsessed with my JET!!! It's white white white! It has been quite some time since I gotten my Jet. But I'm still in love with it! easily contented:))



Didn't catch much sleep from yst tonning at VOn's house. Went Jb with family today :)) Had lots of fun. hahaha, camwhore in the car and lame jokes huh! Went to highlight and trim my hair and it looks damn awesome! I LIKE IT. Bought a cake and celebrated Ah yi's birthday in the car. like in the car? hahaha. Bought two lovely top. One halter neck top flora prints for beach wear and one grey halter neck my-stlye-of-top (the one which has creases in the middle). All bare back :) and the salesgirl said "Cantik" when I tried on the tops. HAHA!

I'm laughing at the biggest joke of 2010. OHH.

It's a Girly Affair!

Headed to garden's to meet von and mag for dinner after my tuition. surprisingly Joan came along too! went Frolicks to eat yogurt. Half price with the calendar! Thanks to Yvonne's church friend.

Went to Von's house and took 103 number of photos on her macbook. We were super high! LOL. The photos speaks it's all. played mahjong on Von's blanket on the floor because we didn't have a table. It was really nice to hang out with you girls!! crazy but i LIKE!!

Went SIM for the open house earlier on. So confirm. I'll be taking up Bachelor of Early Childhood and Management after I end my Diploma. After that, I'll join the police force!! whoohooo!! This will be my target and goal for the next few years from now. So yup, not gonna let anything distract me away from my goal :))

Everyone else is going overseas!!! I want to go too :( and sit aeroplane! I WANT TO SIT AEROPLANE AND GETAWAY TO AN ISLAND! away from sg...

Going to SIM later on to check out the course I wanna take! quick quick quick. faster study finish and sign on SPF. Years before I can fulfill my dream career.

Practicum postpone till next Tues :) Wake me up when March ends, then my diploma is finally ALL OVER. but it's gonna be tough for these 2 weeks doing the practicum folder and my assignments. ARGH.

I love my Samsung Jet. It's white and touch screen!

Watched the clip on Jack Neo and his wife appearance. My heart goes out to the wife. She and the kids are the real victims of this whole issue. Too many jerks and cheap woman in this society now. Tsk Tsk Tsk.

I'm so tired. So tired of my roles and responsibilities of a single mother, a daughter and a student.Ya, I'm not fit. God help me

mirror mirror on the wall

When was the last time YOU actually looked into the mirror and have a good look at yourself? Can you recognise yourself or is it someone else you see in the mirror that is not YOU. Is the person in the mirror YOU? Have you looked into the mirror and ask yourself what have you done for yourself, for your parents for your loved ones over the past 20 years you've been living after your mum painstakingly raised you up?

Have you ever ever reflected on what are you doing with your life? Treating your life as a game for you and everyone to play? Playing the game and one day tell your game mate- "Sorry, game over".

How does a mirror reflects YOU? YOU probably jus use it to gel your hair, shave your moustache. But who is the real YOU, can you find back YOU? All you see is just the surface of YOU in the mirror which means purely looks, looking nice and proper.

You need to find back yourself. Not ruining your life in your own hands.

Where are you...

My heart and mind is in a whirl now...A big knot and big stone that will never go away and the stone gets heavier each day.

I've forgotten the taste of tears. Built a wall around my heart. Sometimes I just wished I could have cry it all out. But I couldn't. Trying to psycho myself that I'm strong so nobody, especially you, can see my tears. So much so I cant cry now. Perhaps a good thing too.

Stoning has been my fav pastime now accompanied with my mp3. Stone in the mrt, stone watching the fish tank. Stone staring into the blank space.

I WANT TO GO TO KITARO'S CONCERT!!! I wanna watch The Realm of Conscience (Gong Xin Ji), I wanna watch Hua Mulan by Zhao wei. I wanna getaway from this island for a while.


"You do not know what love is, much more having the right to love"

Jesus take the wheel

" She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel

So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel"

Baddie Baddie go away!!

Went to watch Alice in Wonderland 3D today. Very colourful, but I don't like the storyline. I need clubbing therapy :))

Mediacorp sent a letter to our house saying that they will be needing our house(as in any interested house in this block i suppose) as a shooting scene for the upcoming chinese drama. With dai yang tian, elvin ng, felicia chin, lin mei jiao etc etc. HAHA! Asked my papa to agree!! How fun would it be having them to shoot in my house!! wheeheee...

Shayenne chicken pox is mutiplying more and more! all over from tip of the head to the toes..after applying the calamine lotion is...very scary. My poor Shayenne :(

Stop haunting me, ALL of you.

I DON'T JUDGE YOU, I WILL ONLY DESPISE YOU.

God pick me because he know I am strong? Because I can handle it?

Was playing with Shayenne when I realise a small blister at her feet. Then I checked her vaginal area and ears. All got blister! Thought was HFMD. So quickly took her to polyclinic. It's a Thursday and SO many people! waited and waited for like 2 hours. 2 hours alone with shayenne! was like.. luckily she was quite good because I brought along all the barang barang I knew she that she will be needing it!

Finally when it was out turn, at 6.05pm. Doctor checked and said Shay is having Chicken pox. Gave 4 bottles of calamine lotion! hahahaa, because I kiasu ask for more.

Feeding Shay medicine is a tough one...End up my face all paracetomol cause she will spit and pooo the medicine out. then she will pretend to vomit. One clever girl eh. Putting the sticky cool gel on her head also the same. See the sticky gel cry alr. Paste on her forehead and she wailed for like 20 mins till the whole block can hear.

God bless me man.

whoohoo~~ i am over with my first practicum lesson!! And I passed!! Yes yes yes!! Thanks to all teachers and Mrs Yap, my principal, who have helped me out so much :))

What I've gained is much more than what I've lost. And what you tasted is only the beginning. The beginning to all horror!

HOHOHO. Let me see...within one month. I watched 4 movies!

Avatar 3D: need to take short breaks from the specs.
14 blade: Love my Donnie Yen and Zhao wei and love Donnie Yen!
Percy Jackson: ohhh, the cute guy who turns out to be traitor.
The wolfman: Ever frightening. The woman beside jumped from her seat. LOL.

And also pool sessions! Missing out all these in my past life now time to enjoy! Some people are scared of being single and lonely. They can't live without feeling love from an opposite sex. How sad had the world become like this. I pity these people. From one to another, always seeking, stop for a while and to another again. Sour grapes? Not at all. Why tie down when still young? -Girls just wanna have fun

Are you looking at the same moon as me?

The moon is so beautiful today. Lunar 15! mummy made a super big Yu Sheng and many tang yuanS :)

FAMILY IS: Father Mother I Love You :))